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Should You Invite Them If They Don't Invite You?

Illustration: Pierre Le-Tan

Jancee Dunn Polls the Experts


Q: My spouse insists that I invite a particular couple to our summer barbecue, yet again. They've been to our house many times in the past five years, and they have never reciprocated. Not once! So I have to ask: Is there a statute of limitations on a person's hospitality?

A: Be honest: Do you really want to go to their house because you want to hang, break bread, and play Pictionary with these people, or is it because you're keeping social score? I suspect you're quid pro quo–ing it, so just make your spouse happy and invite them every summer. Because, after all, it's more fun to barbecue than to stew.
— Faith Salie, host, public radio's Fair Game from PRI with Faith Salie

I understand the frustration of not receiving reciprocal invitations, but you should invite this couple to your barbecue because you want to spend time with them. Some people are not great at throwing parties. If you like their company, leave it at that.
— Rudy Rasmus, pastor of St. John's United Methodist Church in Houston

Stumped?

From the June 2009 issue of O, The Oprah Magazine