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25 Ways to Find Joy and Balance During the Holidays

By R. Morgan Griffin

Finding the Holiday Spirit: Family

7. Head off problems. Think about what people or situations trigger your holiday stress and figure out ways to avoid them. If seeing your uncle stresses you out, skip his New Year's party and just stop by for a quick hello on New Year's Day. Instead of staying in your bleak, childhood bedroom at your stepfather's house, check into a nearby hotel. You really have more control than you think.

8. Ask for help—but be specific. See if your spouse will lug out the decorations. Ask your sister to help you cook—or host the holiday dinner itself. Invite a friend along on shopping trips. People may be more willing to help out than you expect; they just need some guidance from you on what to do.

9. Don't worry about things beyond your control. So your uncle and your dad get into a fight every holiday dinner and it makes you miserable. But remember your limits. You can't control them. But you can control your own reaction to the situation.

10. Make new family traditions. People often feel compelled to keep family holiday traditions alive long past the point that anyone's actually enjoying them. Don't keep them going for their own sake. "Start a new holiday tradition instead," says Gloria Pope, director of advocacy and public policy at the Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance in Chicago. "Create one that's more meaningful to you personally."

11. Find positive ways to remember loved ones. Holidays may remind you of the loved ones who aren't around anymore. But instead of just feeling glum, do something active to celebrate their memory. For instance, go out with your sisters to your mom's favorite restaurant and give her a toast.



As a reminder, always consult your doctor for medical advice and treatment before starting any program.

Reviewed by Brunilda Nazario, MD, on October 01, 2008.
SOURCES: Ken Duckworth, MD, medical director, National Alliance on Mental Illness; assistant professor, Harvard University Medical School. David Dunner, MD, director, Center for Anxiety and Depression, Mercer Island, Wash.; professor emeritus, department of psychiatry and behavioral sciences, University of Washington. Mental Health America website: "Holiday Depression and Stress." Gloria Pope, director, advocacy and public policy, Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance, Chicago.
David Shern, PhD, president and CEO, Mental Health America, Alexandria, Va. ¿¿ 2008 WebMD, LLC. All rights reserved.